“We are our choices.” - Jean-Paul Satre
Everyone wants to feel safe and in control so the thought of living in the comfort zone can be very appealing. But imagine an impermeable barrier around you, a sterile, risk free environment with nothing challenging on the horizon, does it still sound so desirable? Whilst recognising that we all sometimes need a safe space, the richness of life can only be fully explored outside the comfort zone, so what stops us stepping out into uncharted territory?
The problem is that outside the comfort zone is the fear zone, a potential minefield, the land of the dreaded unknown. Scared of failure, we find excuses, worry constantly about others’ opinions and how we feel we are perceived. We lack self-confidence, procrastinate and avoid risk taking. The temptation is to turn around and swiftly head back to the staid confines of the comfort zone. When one feels like this it is important to remember that no one goes through life without losing or making errors, it is what we learn from them that defines us. James Joyce said “mistakes are portals of discovery.” In other words, an opportunity to learn. I agree with the American basketball superstar Michael Jordan who said “the key to success is failure.” Life is like photography, we use the negatives to develop.
If we are brave enough to conquer the challenges in the fear zone we can begin to see the light and enter the learning zone. This is where we begin to acquire new skills and start to deal with challenges and problems as they present themselves. As we become more comfortable in this new environment, in a strange way, we have managed to extend our comfort zone, making it more flexible and fluid. At this stage our confidence begins to grow and we start to look outwards rather than inwards. The next step is to get where we really want to be - the growth zone.
In some ways, the growth zone is aspirational. It is where we chase our dreams. On a practical level, however, it is where we find purpose, set new goals, conquer objectives. Now that we have become more resilient and acquired a tool box of skills, it is time to utilise them. Make a plan, small achievable steps to begin with, and remember what Confucius said-
“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”
Whilst looking at the progression, comfort zone- fear zone- learning zone- growth zone, it is worth thinking of them as concentric circles. The comfort zone being the smallest in the centre and each subsequent zone incrementally growing as they radiate outwards. Relating this specifically to people, such as myself, with a chronic illness, it can be very hard to venture outside the comfort zone. There is a temptation to ‘circle the wagons’, hunker down and almost remove oneself from the world. This is perfectly understandable, if misguided in my opinion. It is often hard to accept that one has a chronic illness but no one should live the label. As you feel certain doors closing, you need to walk down the corridor of life and open some new doors. Not every room you enter will necessarily be great but the more you open the better the chance you have of finding one you really like. So, look outwards not inwards, embrace challenges rather than avoid them, develop a growth rather than a fixed mindset, set some achievable goals rather than drift through life. As Mal Pancoast said-
“The odds of hitting your target go up dramatically when you aim at it.”
Sometimes, when I am feeling down, I remember a quote from Walt Whitman-
“Keep your face always to the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you.”
Peace and love to all.